In the first half of this year, we have heard so many cases of rape. Different hashtags with different names of people. It got me thinking and wondering whether people understand what consent is or the importance of consent.
Sexual consent is the right to stop or permit sexual activity. In a nutshell, sexual consent is when you and your partner agree or disagree with starting sexual activity. In a healthy relationship, both partners should be able to talk about what kind of activity they want to engage in. Whether it’s holding hands, kissing, touching, intercourse, or anything else. It’s crucial everyone’s voice is heard, and people feel comfortable with whatever happens in a relationship.
In the case where consent is not given and any partner decides to move ahead with that sexual activity. It becomes a sexual assault. In this article, I will address 5 things you should know about sexual consent.
Sexual Consent Is Explicit
This means that sexual consent is direct, Yes is yes, and No is No. Before you engage in sexual activity with anyone, you need to understand if the person is interested. It’s extremely important to check because any non-consensual sexual activity (even kissing and touching) is harmful and would lead to sexual assault which is against the law.
Stop Is Stop
I have heard stories of people who say; “but we already started and the activity was too hot to stop”. “Stop is Stop” You and your sexual partner can decide at any time that you don’t want to keep going even if the sex stuff has begun. If this happens, both people should stop. I would say it again No means No it’s either black or white.
Consent For One Sexual Act Does Not Mean Consent For All Sexual Act
It’s important we all understand that because someone said yes before doesn’t mean the person has said yes to everything and anything else.
It is still appropriate to ask at any point in a new sexual activity if your partner is comfortable with it.
Yes From A Drunk & Drugged Person means No
If someone is under the influence of drugs and alcohol, their answer to a question can never really be taken, therefore they cannot give consent. Even if a woman says “yes,” if she’s drunk or stoned or in any other state where she’s unable to make sound decisions for herself, that “yes” does NOT count. This isn’t up for discussion. If someone takes advantage of an intoxicated person, that’s sexual assault or rape.
Rape Is Never Your Fault
Whether your no is ignored or you were taken advantage of while you were unable to give your consent because of you’re drunk or under the influence of drugs. Anyone who tried to tell you otherwise does not understand what consent means and is a rape apologist.
I will end this article by saying that everyone should understand what sexual consent. No means No, Stop means Stop. It’s not debatable and anyone who tries to fault the victim is a Rape apologist. Rape apologists are people who defend the act of rape and make it seem like consent is not necessary for rape. You can share this with your colleagues and friends.
If you need to talk to somebody regarding a sexual assault or rape, kindly click here.